I remember it like it was yesterday. The salty ocean water of Piura, Peru seemed to be calling my name. As I stepped into the water, it was as if my heart was being beckoned into deep water. What else could I do but go deeper? These were not calm waters. Strong waves swept over me, higher and higher, until I arrived at a place that I should have been afraid, but I wasn’t.
Every time a wave came near, it literally swept over my head. Afterwards, I was swimming in deep sea foam. I just laughed and laughed as I danced and spun in circles. Never in my life had I felt closer to the heart of God. Never had I felt such peace. Never had I felt such safety. Never had I felt such love. I wanted to stay there forever, and in a way my heart has stayed there ever since. Every time I remember that experience, it’s like I transport back to that moment when I was absolutely and totally free in my Daddy’s hands. I was the delight of His heart. I was exactly who I needed to be. No facade; no fear; no pain. I was simply His daughter and I was captivating. I was accepted. Heaven came to meet me that day.
As I think about the struggle of these past few weeks with insomnia, I am amazed once again at the amazing grace and love of God. Even when I didn’t know it, He was beckoning me once again into deep water. These are not calm waters. However, what else can I do but go deeper? As I have taken the plunge, I have found that the same hands that held me in Peru, the same eyes that delighted in me, the same heart that poured its love over me was waiting for me in those deep waters. I have connected once again with the place where I am safe, confident, and delighted in: my Father’s heart. So I laugh, I sing, I dance! I am free.
My friend sent me this song, and it is truly the song my heart is singing tonight: