My heart is burning inside of me right now. I just read Chapter 9 of Crazy Love where Francis Chan gives examples of people who have and are actively and powerfully serving God with their lives. This just set my heart on fire. How do I want my life to be defined? If I really just have one life to lose for Jesus, then I want to make it good.
I want to go all out. I’m not content with simply a middle class house, husband and two and a half kids, and a once a week soup-kitchen ministry. Please start praying for the man that might marry me someday, because I ain’t gonna be your average Jane when it comes to loving Jesus. Just sayin’.
You see, this life isn’t mine. This car isn’t mine. This bank account isn’t mine. This body isn’t mine. My time isn’t mine. My talents aren’t mine. I’ve been chosen to carry a love that’s too big for me to hold inside. So what will be the story of my life?
I’m not conventional. God made me creative. So next Sunday I am going to make May baskets for all the night employees at the restaurant I go to most days. I’m probably going to say something about Jesus. I’m going to color pictures for my coworkers and tell them what I admire about them. I’m going to make sure that every person in my life knows how much they mean to me. I’m going to tell my bosses that I’m praying for them, and actually do it. Well, that’s just my plan for this week.
And you know, there’s that lady in the booth over there that comes here all the time too. She’s from Iran. She and I always have small talk, but I know there’s a lot going on in her life. I think I may go over there for a while and see how she’s doing.
That’s not too crazy, but it’s just a start. I want to change the focus of my life. Do you know how many times a day I use the word “I”? Far too many. Seems I am always preoccupied with the things that matter to me, that in the end don’t really matter at all. If I have one life to lose, then I want to lose it well. I am going to lose it either way, to myself or to God. I want to lose it for God.
What about my time? How do I spend my time? I read a lot, and that’s good, because that’s the season in life that God has led me into. However, maybe sometimes I am so engrossed in reading that the employees that pass me by don’t even get a second glance. Why am I here anyway? Lord, please open my eyes.
I wonder if I share my heart enough. I live hidden behind thick walls. Brandon Heath says in one of his songs, “Love doesn’t keep locked inside.” I wonder what opportunities I can pray for God to bring into my life that I can begin to tear down the walls around my heart so that those around me can see Jesus a little better. Maybe that starts in my smile, and more than a “how are you?” as I’m passing by someone. I wonder what it would take to see everyone around me the way God sees them?
And what if I stopped fighting God? What if I saw everything that I was afraid of as an opportunity for God to write a story of courage? What if I decided to live with abandon, totally trusting in God? What if every time a fear entered my heart, I shoved it right back in God’s direction and took two steps forward? What would a life like that look like?
Why do I see my life as ordinary? If God lives in me, then surely it is and can become even more extraordinary. Everything that I do, every person I meet, and every place that I go is a chance for God to shine His light in a world that has lost its hope. I want to lose my life for Him and give mine for a world that is searching for a life that can only be found in Him. Here is the dichotomy: when we think we have found life, it is then that we lose it. However, when we lose our lives for Christ, then we have found the life that really matters and lasts.
I have one life to lose. I choose to lose myself in Christ. I choose to serve Him with everything inside of me, whatever that would mean, and wherever that would take me. Whatever the cost, I give it all for the Love of my life. This is my passion. This is what defines me. This is my everything and all that I live for. Hang on…I’m letting go. I’m free falling.